I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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