wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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