his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
So. Much. Porn.
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