Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
