so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
