found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
