My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
