So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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