So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
