i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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