how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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