im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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