i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
