im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
return my video game
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
