i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
