Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
