There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
