You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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