brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize