even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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