I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize