I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
