I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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