He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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