Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
