And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
