I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize