i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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