I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize