I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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