The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
