while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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