chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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