My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
