I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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