bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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