It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I love you. Go after that dick
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
