There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
