Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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