He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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