I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
