jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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