It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
should my penis look like a turkey
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
