the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
