There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
