Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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