We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
