She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
