I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
