We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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