They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
