How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The beer is more important than you right now.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
