He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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