maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
