For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
