I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize