I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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