:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
