i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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