she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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