He disabled his match.com account in front of me
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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