is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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