forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
