You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize