All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
