everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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