He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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