Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
