Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
