told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Holy sore nipples Batman
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
