That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
