apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
